Tried and True Take Out
From a nonbeliever (but also maybe an expert)
If I order food to be delivered to my house, rest assured I am having a terrible day. Ordering for takeout is only mildly better. 90% of my justification for spending money on food is the experience that comes with it; why then, would I be spending $20 in fees for lukewarm soggy food. I would so much rather eat a baked potato or scrounge around in my kitchen for vegetables and non-perishables to pair with one of my 700 condiments.
Takeout, despite its many flaws, is a staple of a city diet, we are perpetually moving from one place to the next and sometimes takeout is the only option. Or, you are in a foul mood and even takeout is a stretch, and you are forced to swallow $7 in delivery fees plus a well-deserved tip to the person traveling in rain, snow, or vicious winds to deliver your food. When this is the case, it is important to know what food won’t be completely ruined in transit. Why spend $40 on dinner-for-one if it is going to arrive and have lost all textural and structural integrity? It is crucial to order wisely, and I am here to humbly offer the takeout options that, when absolutely necessary, will go the distance.
There are distinct categories of food that are optimal for take-out and this week’s newsletter is formatted accordingly. My trusted spots within each area are listed below. Pictures are bad this week—sorry.
I have many newsletters lined up. If you want to throw another one in the mix, drop me a line. Also subscribe and also share I really want to hit 1,000 subscribers, perhaps for my March birthday.
Pizza
The best part of living in New York is having good pizza within a 10 minute walk at all times. And also, optimal takeout container, minimal sog, fun to try to eat on the go.
Chrissy’s - This is cheating because actually legally you have to eat Chrissy’s pizza the second they hand it to you. Steam is literally coming out of the vents of your cardboard box, and you are going to wait until you get home? You’re joking. Following Chrissy’s from a 12am Superiority Burger pop up to a brick and mortar with a selling-out problem has been nothing short of a treat. I did wince at the pizza tour bus of 35 year old men piling into the tiny shop, but I was happy to wait 20 minutes for my pie to ruminate in the oven all the while. Go at an off hour, be nice, order a regular pie and a red pie (yes you need two, yes they’re more important than the also incredible specials). Eat a slice standing over a Citibike dock the second it is ready, and I guess take the rest home if you can manage to hold out for that long.
La Flor - Half a block from my apartment and undeniably consistent. Plus they have garlic knots, which is the best food to bring home and eat on the couch maybe?
Scarr’s - as soon as they left their original location the vibes immediately shifted. I don’t think it is worth sitting in the back, unless you are really desperate. The paper plate covered in oil is part of the experience. Eat it on the sidewalk like a New Yorker. Multitasking is a great skill.
Indian
You’re telling me I can get an appetizer, an entree, rice, and naan for $20 and be fed for two days? And I can get a free quart container to use forever? Sold.
Omar’s Indian Fine Cuisine - I can not vouch for Indian pizza or bagels, but I can vouch for samosas, channa masala, and an odd vibe. So much food, stays hot for what feels like hours, and will never skimp you on portion sizing just because you are using plastic.
Mumbai Place - equally valid dinner combo, also reliable, often empty but don’t let that discourage you.
Indian Kitchen - the best of all time if you are ever in East Williamsburg. The decor is insane and the lights are the brightest I have ever experienced but this slaps, always. No matter what. Will last you multiple meals easily.
Greek
Greek salads are one of my favorite foods, and I am also obsessed with getting an obscene amount of mezze to bring home and eat with various starches and crunchy veg.
Omars Mediterranean Cuisine - Grape leaves IN the salad. Yeah! Throw some harissa in there… perfect. Also, amazing hummus here.
Sahadi’s - Great greek salad, amazing falafel sandwich in laffa, delicious fresh flatbreads, outstanding value. Cheapest olive source I have found.
Cafe Mogador - Loyalty runs so deep. I ate a Mogies greek salad with falafel every single day in the summer of 2021 when I worked there and I still love it deeply. I randomly went for lunch last week and had fresh mint tea and a bowl of oatmeal…rogue but literally so good.
Sandwiches
Ultimately the takeout option that makes the most sense. Very rarely am I intrigued by the idea of ordering a sub to eat sitting down at a table with dishware that requires cleaning.
Court Street Grocers - This might be my favorite sandwich source in the city. I have waited an hour for CSG delivery, with no complaints. My sandwich arrived perfectly in tact, with their sesame roll still shockingly crunchy. The creation of the vegitalian was a stroke of genius.
Pisillo Italian Panini - this might be a $20 sandwich but it is also the size of my entire arm. And, their hot peppers are actually hot. I get so many emails with coupons from them, which I appreciate. More coupons in 2025.
Brooklyn Bagel - My favorite takeout growing up was a sandwich my mom grew up eating that I inherited, and is the only thing I order that has repeatedly gotten me a “are you sure?” from the person taking my order. If you trust me at all, a poppy seed or egg bagel, untoasted, with sliced muenster and cucumbers. That’s it. I don’t understand why it is so good. If you aren’t feeling freaky, a sesame bagel with lox scallion spread will be delicious many minutes post pick up.
Thai
Noodles I can eat directly out of a black plastic container with chopsticks is the perfect takeout food. We got Thai takeout at least once a week in college from a Vietnamese restaurant with somehow best Pad See Ew ever. I’ve been seeking a replacement for that spot for years, and Nourish is the closest I have gotten, but still feels too nice and put together to do the trick.
Nourish Thai - The Thai salad with peanut sauce dressing is a great $10 meal. Pad see ew is perfect, curry slaps, never disappointed.
Myrtle Thai - Reliable, not reinventing the wheel. Go to if I am sick of Nourish.
Sappe - I just went here for the second time in 2 months and it was even better the second time around. I want the Woon Sen Pad Thai on a weekly rotation, and I can’t stop thinking about the glass jelly and tapioca dessert. That definitely wouldn’t travel well, but a rice noodle dish certainly would.
Sushi
Hibino - Still my favorite sushi in NYC. Spicy scallop roll, avocado cucumber roll, perfect every time.
Osakana - Best chirashi I have ever had, and is a true. This is one of those meals that feels like such a treat, and has turned many bad days around.
Ten Ichi - I could eat onigiri for every meal, or a container of inari if I am less interested in dealing with plastic origami. The fish is so fresh, the prices are amazing, and between the snack aisles and beverage fridge, you can make a real 3 course meal happen here to eat just about anywhere.
Back next Monday, see you then!
Some takeout would save me right now
did you know you can make lists on uber eats and see creator's takeout lists? (i just learned this)