For Dates #1-10

a succession of the best date bars in Brooklyn

At least once a week, I get texts from friends requesting recs for date spots. These inquiries range from first dates with semi-strangers, to romantic evenings with serious boyfriends. The chaos of dating in New York is only enhanced by the challenges of coordinating logistics, determining the seriousness of the date, and subsequently figuring out where to go—truly a never-ending puzzle that I looove to help solve. It’s my favorite game. I’ve written about it before…more on that here:

Here’s the thing though, if your first date with someone is at a fancy restaurant for a long sit down dinner… you are either really brave, very confident in the match, or are looking for marriage. The preferable method is typically to save dinner for several dates later (in case the date goes badly?) which leaves only one natural option—the ubiquitous wanna get a drink? This presents a different issue altogether—knowing which of the DOZENS of bars to pick for that first date.

I didn’t want to compile just first date spots, because that only gets you so far. Instead, I pulled together my 10 favorite bars for the perfect succession of those first 10 dates. Please forgive the lack of imagery, I am not as good at remembering to take pictures of interiors…especially at bars. Use your imagination ;)

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#1 Sharlene’s

Flatbush and Park Place

Central Brooklyn’s favorite dive. The volume hovers around a moderate decibel, think no one can hear your conversation but you don’t have to yell across the table. It’s dark but not really in a moody way—I call this forgiving lighting. There is always a seat, even if the bar is nearly full. A Miller High Life is $4. It’s so relaxed in every way, and leaves you little to fret about beyond your outfit and being on time. Bonus points for being near a lot of different train lines. Sharlene’s is consistently a good time and your key to a first date that could last anywhere between one (yikes) and four hours.

#2 Hartley’s

Putnam and Grand

Hartley’s is too good to pin down to a single date level—it would work for a first date just as well as it would work for a twentieth date. Known primarily among Clinton Hill/ Bed Stuy dwellers, Hartley’s is a perfectly homey Irish pub. Drawing a local crowd into its small space, it can be a little less show-up-and-sit-wherever. With maybe four tables, a couple seats outside, and 10-12 seat bar, your best bet is planning to be there at off hours for an expertly-poured Guinness. Let’s call this date number two—a bit more special, a bit more romantic, still very relaxed.

#3 Doris

Fulton and Classon

This might be a stretch for date #3, but I feel like you hit a point where you need to gauge how fun someone is and if you’re willing to spend a silly Friday evening with them. Doris is the place for that. Their backyard is fantastic and full all summer long with Brooklynites smoking American Spirits and drinking Modelos. Inside, booths, tables, and bar seats are separated by a large space meant for dancing. There’s a disco ball and often a vinyl DJ which means vibes are high and volume is loud. Doris has fantastic (and inexpensive!) cocktails, with a small but nice wine selection along with great non-Alcoholic options. Once your small talk is out of the way and you’re okay to throw back a beer and a shot with a new love interest and scream at each other over loud music, Doris is where you’ll want to end up.

me inside Doris, me outside Doris

#4 Bar Laika

Grand and Greene

We’re getting a little more serious here—four dates! Things are going well at this point. Bar Laika will be your next stop, one of central Brooklyn’s chicest watering holes. We’ve graduated from cheap beer and an emphasis on the casual, and moved onto a sleek wood-covered Japanese inspired bar with deliciousss cocktails, loud ambient music, and an excuse to wear heels. I always call Laika the Apple Store of bars, a big dark wood box perfect for talking to strangers and spending money. The Mezcal Penicillin is one of my all-time favorite drinks.

#5 Frog

Jefferson and Marcus Garvey

Okay, now we get into wine bar territory which, in my opinion, errs on the more romantic side. There are several dates and many tests passed between drinking a couple of beers at your local dive and sitting down with a bottle of wine (or playing pool together?). Come on off hours unless you want to stand and also be really warm. Good wine. Interesting crowd.

#6 Prima

Greene and Waverly

We’re approaching meal territory!! While I wouldn’t necessarily suggest going to a wine bar for three dates straight, this is a really good one to have on your list. Prima could also be a morning date—woah—for coffee and pastries in the cutest little cafe in a brownstone in Clinton Hill. Or, stay all day until the space converts into a wine bar with bites and a lovely selection of bottles and glasses of natural wine. Adorable and intimate. Good for lots of talking.

#7 Rhodora

Adelphi and Willoughby

Similar to Prima, but leaning a bit further into the eating phase. Counter service and snacky plates keep Rhodora low-effort and low-stress, but is slightly busier, scenier, and precious than Prima. Another place in Fort Greene where you could very well spend your entire day. Share this one with someone you’re really excited about…you can’t let anyone ruin Rhodora for you!!

#8 The Long Island Bar

Atlantic and Henry

Simultaneously the worst and best piece of real estate—it is a miracle that this corner of Atlantic ave has been transformed into such a destination. By 8pm, it is crowded. However! There is no reason why standing on the corner and chatting while you wait for a spot can’t be fun. Alternatively, get there early enough where you can walk right in and be glad you aren’t one of the parties crowding the host stand on a Friday night. Martinis are fabulous, salad is incredible?? and allegedly a very good burger can be had here. This The Odeon but Brooklyn—slightly old-school, but still cool. Easy and casual and a super random crowd. Fun at 6pm and fun at 12am. Have a slightly expensive meal at the bar. Grab a table for just martinis. Whatever floats your boat!

#9 Sunny’s

Conover and Reed

Sunny’s, like Rhodora, just has to be shared with someone special. Date 9 is promising. Take a nice long train (or bike) ride to Red Hook and post up in a dimmed corner of Sunny’s. It is impossible for Sunny’s not to feel romantic, with live music and patrons of all ages sitting under kitschy pendant lights. You might be brave and get a cocktail, but you might just need a slew of Pacificos in the cutest little saloon of all time. You can (and should) spend hours here. Good people watching, perfect vibes.

#10 The Fly

Classon and Fulton

Sorry for its literal 5th appearance on the newsletter—but an important addition. The Fly is a restaurant, but it has one of my absolute bars to sit at. It is almost never an issue to arrive and claim a bar stool under a sleek warmly-lit array of wine glasses. The drinks are always perfect, the wine list is always amazing. The key here is that dinner is sort of a must, but it also happens to be one of the most messy meals you can have. A chicken sandwich that gets all over your hands, a caesar salad with more cheese than the lettuce can handle, and fries you won’t be able to stop eating. You have to be okay getting a little messy here, hence its date 10 status. Still a perfect date spot.

a full spread and a very good (and inexpensive) chilled red

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See you next week with exciting updates and a really fun letter :)

Where to next…

1. Sunken Harbor Club

2. Big Tiny

3. Brooklyn Inn